Thursday 29 March 2018

I call it by its true name


So today I thought I would write about a topic we parents like to avoid. The sort of topic that makes you look around the room when your kids are talking about it - to make sure no one else heard. My sons are getting older now and sooner or later they are going to learn it at school, So I thought I would break the ice and tell them in a form they would listen...the power through song: 

I call it by its true name.

So let's sing a song my sons,
about a word you should know,
it's the sort of song you sing about
when you gotta go,
It's a word that makes your mommy cringe
when you say it out loud,
So yell, and scream, and shout, and sing -
when you're in a crowd...

It's my
Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis HEY!
Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis HEY!
Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis.....
It's the medical term so you can't get in trouble.

Up till now, you've heard it called by many different things,
Fun words like Tallywhacker and Giggle Stick, Ding Dong, or maybe Ding-a-Ling,
There's a lot more to teach you sons,
but your mother is listening,
Such as Trouser Snake and Pecker,
Dookie Kong or maybe even Prick,
But my favorite word that started it all was - Dick?

I'm kidding it's
Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis HEY!
Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis HEY!
Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis.....
At least I didn't call it a Pork Sword.

Now I can see how red her face is,
your mom is really mad at me -
But the one thing that she can't deny
I extended your vocabulary!
Now I could have called it "The purple mayonnaise martian
from the planet of Uranus,"
But the one word you guys really want to say is:

It's my
Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis HEY!
Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis HEY!
Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis.....
And now my life is complete.

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